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Vineyard by The Sea - Bangkok Post

... Vineyard, home ... Wine Cooler, which was made from wine grapes but was lower in alcohol. Sweet, cool and refreshing, it was made to be easy to drink. Preparations took a good 10 years, and when he believed it was a good time to start making

Making Kosher Wine, Finding a Path Back to the Fold - New York Times

... Jonathan Hajdu, as a full-time associate winemaker, which allowed him to move his winemaking home ... other top Napa wine. Occasionally a rabbi from the Orthodox Union arrives to inspect the operation. Mr. Morgan succeeded in making a fine ...

'Taste of Cape Ann' is newest step in our lifestyle ... - Gloucester Daily Times

As the videos have moved forward, Times food and wine columnists Cathy Huyghe and Heather Atwood have joined local restaurateurs, chefs and home cooks in making them. Then, there's the live Wednesday online local TV show "The Deadliest Batch," hosted ...

Keep an eye on Hawkes Bay - Irish Times

WINE: MOST WINE-PRODUCING countries would be thrilled if they ... They followed this up with some of the finest Pinot Noir to be found outside of Burgundy, a classic in the making. This has all happened in a little more than a decade.

Wine Briefs - St. Helena Star

... Dutch Henry Winery is owned by the Chafen family and run by Scott Chafen, winemaker/owner, who said of the December 2009 AVA approval, “My family has been proudly making wine in the ... will travel from her Coronado home to join an impressive ...

$95M for a dream home - Daily Pilot

This 29,000-square-foot home ... years in the making, he said. The rambling estate will feature a bevy of what Goetz calls “house toys,” including a theater, spa and bowling alley. There’s also plans for a disco sound studio, wine cellar ...

Globetrotting driver Scott Pruett, wife Judy built ... - Sacramento Bee

But making wine is a lesson in patience." Their 4,700-square-foot home seems fueled more by grapes than gasoline. Near the dining area, a wine room has more than 3,000 bottles stacked to the ceiling. The oak doors were salvaged from the original ...

Myanmar a gateway for wildlife trade to China: Report - IndiaTimes

... tiger-bone wine, leopard skins, bear bile and other products made from endangered species, a report released on Tuesday said. "China's border areas have long been considered a hotbed for illegal trade, with remote locations often making ...

Fitch: Mixed Impact of Earthquake on Chilean Food ... - Businesswire.com

... bottlers (which mostly reported losses in terms of glass bottles and finished products) as well as CCU (which reported substantial damage to its beer plant in Santiago and its wine cellar ... of their facilities are making an effort to ...

Aurora couple's wines has locals buzzing - Denver Post

... always home to a few six-gallon buckets were the wine slowly ferments. This week, the buckets in the kitchen were filled with a black locust honey mead and a Pinot Gris white wine. Monique said there is a lot of work that goes into making the ...

Open Question: Wife controlling and on a up and down depression?

Ok,,I need so much good advice on this one. My wife of 20 years has flipped out. She cheated on me 3 years ago and it lasted 2 years. She told me if she could continue seeing him she would be haooer in our marriage and the sex would be better. Now 5 years later she says she is not happy and is moving out unless i make changes she is asking. She asked me to not have any beer or wine. She says i also want sex too much..o my god 1 time a week is too much .... I enjoy a glass of wine or a cold beer on a hot day but she says none. I never get out of hand or loose work to beer or wine. She now has decided to move out with the boys but only after 2 months she calls and wants to move back home so i moved her back in. Well now one year later she is back at it and says she is filing for divorce if i dont do as she ask. she has got here self in big dept with money because she had to get a loan from her 401k to break her lease when she moved back in and she took out a big 401k loan to buy a boat and trailer .Now she wants me sell them to pay here loan off. Now she says she si filling again after just saying she isnot going to file. The papers are set to be served to me next week. Is she crazy and why do i stay with her ?? more

Open Question: Help I think my home is haunted?

Here my story - I have always since a little girl seen/ heard/ felt things. I am a rational human being not a loon and always try to search for rational explanation. I am know a mature women but still can find myself experience things I can't explain. Just over a year ago we moved to a 16th C convert barn - its never been a residence until the people before us moved in approx 5 years ago upon converting the property. I have the history of the property & the farm which is owned by our neighbors, its brief, I would assume that some people have died in the farm itself one being a infant as this is mentioned in the history I have. Before the barn was here there was a fort and a battle going back into the 14C. So there is a lot of history!!! Anyway really since day one of moving in I have had feelings of being watch, at first I had the pressnace of a man I even heard him speak from another room where my 2 yr old son was it was broad day lite and I was doing the dish's!! When I go to bed he stands in our loung I can just see him like in the corner of my eye then he goes. He also stands outside our bedroom door. My son went though a period of being real scared when we took him up stairs to bed he would hide his face in my shoulder until we were in his room. I got really mad with the presences said we were friendly and meantnt no harm but I would not put up with it scaring my child. My Mum, Sis and friends have hasimilarar conversations with this being so they all get that feeling too. My sis stayed over one night, had to sleep in the same room with me as she was so scared and she said all night she heard all sorts of wried nosiesis like someone dragging things around. One night I was stood in the kitchen and my dog was just staring right past me with this look on her face I turned around and there was another dog whitish) as soon as it was there it was gone. My dog does not like other dogs so I was ready for a big fight, I didn't even think where did this dog come from? I was holding my dog back but it was gone?? It was night and the door in my house were locked. About 6mth ago, I got up in the night to go to the bathroom I'm sat on th loo with the bathroom door open and I can see the bottom of a ladys skirt. The big old fashioned type like that of a working women. I got up and I could just make out this lady stood there just lookin right back at me - she there every night now, comes into our bedroom at night so does the man and just watches us while we sleep. I wake up every night at the same time for no reason but it drive me mad coz she or he is there always 3 o'clock. The lady has also started hanging around my little boys bedroom grenrally outside but sometime in - I don' like this one bit as he has sometime just look at nothing as if he can see - I don't want to make him frightened by putting things into his imagination if I start asking him if he can see anything. The thing with this is that they are getting more and more interested in me/ my son. Started with small things just in certain parts of the house now they are moving around more and even coming outside or watching me from the house (That make me sound weird) by the way I don't have the feelings all the time. Iam pregnantte and I think this is why they are even more interested. There is stuff going on right now, just so you get an example, I'm in the loung and in the utility area of my kitchen I keep hearing taps and what sounds like someone screwing and unscrewing a top on a wine bottle. I am very aware that the man spirit is stood near my TV just there hanging everynow an again I see his face. What I want to know is how I can calm this down a bit - I don't want them gone nesicarily but there are scaring me know however I'm not the sort to hide away as Im here and alive and they are not and why me?? more

Open Question: Why do people love pagan origin religions that lead away from the road to life for foolish customs?

Pagan Origins of Catholicism – The Fish Hat (Mitre) “The two-horned mitre, which the Pope wears, when he sits on the high altar at Rome and receives the adoration of the Cardinals, is the very mitre worn by the priests of Dagon, the fish-god of the Philistines and Babylonians.” - The Two Babylons ; Alexander Hislop; p. 215 Not only does the pope wear this “Mitre” hat, but so do the Cardinals on certain occasions when they are dressed in their royal regalia. The Mystery religion of ancient Babylon / Assyria, was noted for the priestly class of “Dagon” in much the same way that the “Mystery” religion of Rome has copied it. “The two-horned mitre, which the Pope wears, when he sits on the high altar at Rome and receives the adoration of the Cardinals, is the very mitre worn by the Priests of Dagon, the fish-god of the Philistines and Babylonians.” - The Two Babylons ; Alexander Hislop; p. 215 There’s nothing in the Bible that indicates that Jesus wore such a hat. Why does the Pope? The fact is the origin of the hat goes back long before Jesus and can be traced to an ancient Babylonian fish-god named Dagon. “…there are strong evidences that Dagon was Nimrod…. All scholars agree that the name and worship of Dagon were imported from Babylonia. ” - The Two Babylons, Hislop, p. 215 “In their veneration and worship of Dagon, the high priest of paganism would actually put on a garment that had been created from a huge fish! The head of the fish formed a mitre above that of the old man, while its scaly, fan-like tail fell as a cloak behind, leaving the human limbs and feet exposed.” - Babylon and Nineveh, Austen Henry Layard, p. 343 “The most prominent form of worship in Babylon was dedicated to Dagon, later known as Ichthys, or the fish. In Chaldean times, the head of the church was the representative of Dagon, he was considered to be infallible, and was addressed as ‘Your Holiness’. Nations subdued by Babylon had to kiss the ring and slipper of the Babylonian god-king. The same powers and the same titles are claimed to this day by the Dalai Lama of Buddhism, and the Pope. Moreover, the vestments of paganism, the fish mitre and robes of the priests of Dagon are worn by the Catholic bishops, cardinals and popes. -The Wine of Babylon; Pg 9 The excavations done of ancient Nineveh and Babylon have shed light on the shocking connection between Dagon the fish-god and the Pope’s Mitre (hat). http://www.onlinechurch.com.au/pagan-origins-of-catholicism-the-fish-hat-mitre-2 Pagan Origins of Catholicism and Christmas, "Since the celebration of Christmas has come to the world from the Roman Catholic Church, and has no authority but that of the Roman Catholic Church, let us examine the Catholic Encyclopedia, 1911 edition, published by that church. Under the heading "Christmas," you will find: "Christmas was NOT among the earliest festivals on the Church...the first evidence of the feast is FROM EGYPT." "PAGAN CUSTOMS centering around the January calends gravitated to Christmas." And in the same encyclopedia, under the heading "Natal Day," we find that the early Catholic father, Origen, acknowledged this truth: "...In the Scriptures, no one is recorded to have kept a feast or held a great banquet on his birthday. It is ONLY SINNERS (like Pharaoh and Herod) who make great rejoicings over the day in which they were born into THIS world"." The plain truth about Christmas link: http://home.sprynet.com/~pabco/ptofxmas.htm How many other churches follow this pagan custom and others like it knowing there pagan origins as well knowing the mother church it came from is deep in pagan worship not of the God of the Bible? Can they be genuine Christians if they follow counterfeit Christian teachings knowingly and love it that way? Who is the loving God of the Bible who gets ignored by all these churches? Is that Jehovah? And who today do worship only him? Are they imperfect sincere people willing to talk at your door about him and his loving will for us all and have nothing to do with pagan customs like others do? Do the greater number love the road leading away from life and if so why? Are they using their free will choice in a not so wise way? Why?Why do Jehovah's Witnesses go out to a pagan world that hate them? See Matthew 28:18-20 "And Jesus approached and spoke to them, saying: “All authority has been given me [by Jehovah God] in heaven and on the earth. Go therefore and make disciples of people of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy spirit, teaching them to observe all the things I have commanded YOU. And, look! I am with YOU all the days until the conclusion of the system of things.”" Why do Christians need to go out and teach? See Matthew 7:13,14 “Go in through the narrow gate; because broad and spacious is the [pagan] road leading off into destruction, and many are the ones going in through it; whereas narrow is the [Christian] gate and cramped the road leading off into life, and few are the ones finding it." [Christian way not easy in a pagan world] We cannot force change, people have to see the need to change and do that for themselves. It is our job to find those! more

Open Question: Am I the only one who thinks that?

Playing away in the Champions League(second leg)Isn't a COMPLETE disadvantage.(And no I'm not only saying this because of our second leg draw at the Nou Camp) Okay well maybe a little bit but still... Look at it this way... Your side have won 1-0 at home, all they NEED to do is score one goal and it'll make it very difficult for the opposite team to come back AND it'll also make them that much more anxious. Which is always a good thing. That away goal is crucial and I've always that it's much better getting the home tie out of the way. Yes okay when your away the atmosphere is against you and blah blah blah but if your already wining, does it really matter that much? Anyhow just wanted to know your opinions... more

Resolved Question: What happened that now makes it illegal to ship wine to NJ?

September of 2008, I was in Napa and bought wine at several wineries to ship home. I live in PA (where stupid blue laws have always prevented you form shipping wine there), so I sent it to my brother in NJ. No questions, no problems. Recently I wanted to order some of that same wine again, and NJ is now on the list of states they can't ship to. When did this happen? I'm especially surprised since the state doesn't control liquor sales there like they do in PA. Personally, I think it's a crock and I should be able to buy wine from an out of state vintner and ship it to my house for personal consumption. Especially when you're limited to the crappy selection that PA "Wine and Spirits Shoppes" carry. more

Open Question: I have a temporary protection order against my ex-husband and his fiance' for being abusive toward my son. My?

My ex-husband is being mentally and emotionally abusive to my son daily. He screams in his face and is constantly making in front of his feelings, belittling him, blaming him, calling my son names. He walks in the bathroom on my son and refuses to leave while my son is changing. During his screaming tirades he refuses to let my son leave the room and takes an aggressive body stance. His fiance' has been physically abusive by grabbing my son by his hood and pulling him off stairs. She covered his mouth and plugged his nose(so he couldn't breath). She screamed in his face swearing at him. They have a child together and do not treat her this way. When my ex-husband begins to ride her like he does my son she tells him to shut up but when he does this to our son she joins in and screams at my son with him. He is often times called disrespectful, wine bag, cry baby, etc... The complication comes in because I have other children by different people and my youngest child's father was violent toward me. Child protective services stepped in and I had to prove that I would end the relationship four and a half years ago. My ex-husband and his fiance' were the ones who called. I moved to the opposite end of the state and saw my son as often as financially possible. I also kept in phone contact. I moved back to my son's area about 3 and a half years ago. I have been in therapy ever since. I am also on medicine for bi-polar disorder and my condition is now under control. In our original court order ten years ago we had shared rights and responsibilities. However, since I have moved back my ex-husband and fiance' have been very controlling of the time I spend with my son. Therefore, he has been with me on weekends and holidays. The healthier I have become the harder it is to ignore what's going on. I have contacted child protective services in the past and an investigation was done. Then counsellors were sent in to work in their home voluntarily. My son made a complaint about the fiance' pushing him and the worker confronted her. She kicked the workers off of their property and that was the end of it. My son has a lot of anxiety and has been bullied a lot at school. He shuts down if there is a confrontation. I have seen cut marks on his arm and leg that looked self inflicted. He told his doctor about his anxiety with school months ago and she recommended counselling but my ex husband refused and he is the one who has insurance for my son. This is such a mess. My question is we go back to court in 8 days and I have to prove that my son has been abused. My son will testify and be honest because he hates being treated like they treat him. I don't know how to prove that this abuse has been happening. We have been divorced for ten years and have no mutual friends that can be witnesses for me. I have set up an appointment with my son's doctor for two days before the trial. I am trying to get a lawyer but I don't have any money and my ex-husband does. My son is very anxious and asks constantly if he is going to have to go back. He is very scared of what they are going to do to him if that happens and so am I. Up until now he never talked about what was going on and he was treated that bad everyday. So now that he has said something it will be bad for him if he goes back. more

Open Question: Stepdaughter problems. I need help!!?

So to make a long story short. christmas holidays, my family was here plus my fiance's kids. All the guys went to unload a shed into a trailer. My sister, mother and I left to go shopping. His daughters wanted to stay. My mom shuts her bedroom door, always does cause of the cats, then we leave. My mom forgets her purse, she runs back into the house, older stepdaughter gives my mom a nasty look, no idea why, my mom didn't do nothing but put her shoes back on and leaves. Stepdaughters are now home alone. After a few hours we get home, my moms bedroom door was open, water poured onto her bed, and water poured into her luggage, her personal belongings got soaked. Fiance' does not want to believe or confront that it was his daughter. But knowing her troubled past, plus just got out of rehab after a year and a half and a $100,000 dollars later. Mind you she was only out of rehab for 2 weeks when she came to vist us over xmas holidays. Fiance' and I went through any other possibilities, cats opening doors, grew thumbs to carry over bottled water haha, we checked around for anything else in the room. My mom did not have water in the room. So now he believes that his older daughter did it, he was going to confront her and say she's no longer aloud to visit, i said no its ok. Just set ground rules when she comes. She also has a mouth on her, I'm catholic, she knows I am, she likes to say stuff "catholics are a joke, they don't do anything right" "Catholics are STUPID" and then laughs about it. They're apparently strong Chirstians. My fiance' will do the disciplining, but since its my home too, is it ok for me to say stuff as well? not like "go to your room!" or anything. Advice or tell her to watch her mouth. She's 17. the younger daughter is 13 and we both know for a fact she didn't do it, I met her first out of his kids, and we'd go shopping, starbucks etc, i have no problems with her. Should we let this rude incident go that she did to my mother? He did ask her once if she did it, of course she said "noo dad i promise" batting eyelashes. oh and she also promised she's not drinking after recent tags on facebook with her holding a big wine bottle in every picture!! she obviously lied twice in that same call. Should I hide my personal belongings when she comes visit? Since I know i'm not her bestfriend and she is troubled still, obviously. Thanks for reading my looooooooong question. and thanks for any suggestions and help in advance. more

Resolved Question: Christian women: Do you feel like second class citizens?

I just asked this question: According to the bible, women are clearly designed to be subservient to men. How does that make you feel? The responses consisted of "no, it doesn't say that". Yes it does: 1 Corinthians 11:3 * 3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman [is] the man; and the head of Christ [is] God. (Head of every woman is the man) 1 Corinthians 11:7 - 9* 7 For a man indeed ought not to cover [his] head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. 8 For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. 9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. 1 Corinthians 14:34 - 35* 34. Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but [they are commanded] to be under obedience, as also saith the law. 35 And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. (Woman to be silent in church. A woman is not to speak in church) Ephesians 5:22 - 25* 22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing. 25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; (Wives must submit themselves to their husband, afterall he is the head of the wife) Colossians 3:18 * 18. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. (Wives submit to their husband -- the Lord expects it) 1 Timothy 2:9 - 15* 9. In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works. 11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. 12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. 13 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. 14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. 15 Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. (Women not to wear braided hair, gold, pearls, or costly array. Women must learn in silence. Women are not to teach and not have authority over men. Women must be silent. Adam was created first, then Eve. A woman was deceived, but Adam was not deceived) Romans 7:2 2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to [her] husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of [her] husband. (woman bound to her husband for life) Titus 2:3 - 5* 3 The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; 4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, 5 [To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. (Women to obey their own husbands) 1 Peter 3:1 -3 1. Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation [coupled] with fear. 3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward [adorning] of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 1 Peter 3:5 -7* 5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement. 7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Genesis 3:16* 16. Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire [shall be] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Women will be ruled by men) Leviticus 12:2 * 2 Speak unto the children of Israel, saying, If a woman have conceived seed, and born a man child: then she shall be unclean seven days; according to the days of the separation for her infirmity shall she be unclean. Leviticus 12:5 5 But if she bear a maid child, then she shall be unclean two weeks, as in her separation: and she shall continue in the blood of her purifying threescore and six days. (Woman unclean for 7 days if she gives birth toThere were more but I apparently ran out of room. I am aware that many will claim that these are out of context, however, I'm going to go ahead and say "all of them?" Also, women frequently respond with "well yes, but the bible was written by men and they put it in there, not god. Fair enough, so how do you believe any of it? Couldn't it all be made up? Now that you have read the verses do you feel like a second class citizen? more

Resolved Question: My mom is so screwed up and weird?

this is long, sorry, but i reallllly need help!! i am so sick of my mom. she screwed up her life because of my dumb dad, but its her fault for marrying a cheating abusive manwhore!!! she knew it but was stupid enough to stay with him for 22 years. and yes they have been divorced for quite a few years now thankfully but i dont know whats wrong with her!! she is always hiding things from me. she supposedly "goes to the doctor" and then will be like, "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" and also she drinks so much wine because she "needs it because of dad." and when she gets mad she says, "im gonna die in like 2 years anyway!! bla bla blah!" and she says shes sooo happy and stuff but she is NOT. I dont care how long she was married. He was abusive at times and KNEW he was cheating, but she STAYED!! there is no excuse to after all these years continue putting her problems on me and other people! she also likes to use words to hurt me. like telling me things I would NEVERRRR TELL MY OWN CHILD! but then shes all nice the next day! also she had this boyfriend for almost 2 years. then she broke up with him for her high school boyfriend. then goes back to the first boyfriend. then i met this guy who wasnt her boyfriend, but i have NO IDEA how he knew my mom, but he spent like 500 dollars on us for dinner and shopping. and i only saw him like twice.... and then she got this other new boyfriend most recently who she is supposedly still with. well tonight, her first boyfriend came over and did stuff with her so she is cheating! she is being just like my stupid dad! and then i went up to her after he left and asked her what happened to her other boyfriend and she was all drunk and didnt make any sense. recently she has been buying lots of clothes because she is "depressed". well last night she came home with tons of stuff and i asked her where she got the money. she said that someone gave it to her. and then said, "Sometimes you have to do things you dont want to do to get money" !!! I AM SO SICK OF THIS!! i have no idea what to do!! she has like split personalities and is turning into my dad! I hate having two screwed up parents! I want to move out but im almost 17 and i dont really have anywhere to go...yeah i think she should go to a therapist im gonna try something like that more

Open Question: which monologue?????

I have an audition later today and i need help deciding which monologue to use: Background Info: A young woman approx. 14-17 years old enters looking torn tattered and abused... Cradling a jacket. She is facing herself after making the decision to have an abortion. She faces the audience and begins to tell her story... partly talking to the audience, partly talking to herself and partly speaking to God. He said it would be easy, that no one would know. Just go quietly and have it done, after all he said it is only a little procedure. He said it was my responsibility to handle it, that I should have been more careful in the first place. I asked him to not make me go alone... he said he would call me later when it was done. And so I went, alone and scared... not sure what I was doing or why; it had to be the only choice, the right thing to do... didn't it? I mean after all I'm young and I have my whole life in front of me. It was just one little mistake; I can't let that ruin my life... or his. One of the other girls there began to talk to me her name was Jenny. She was chewing gum nonchalantly and just chatting away. She said this was her second time and that it wasn't a big deal anymore. But her eyes looked hard and hollow, but I just figured that was the type of person she was. They called my name and in I went. It didn't take long really... just signing some papers, lying on the cold table, and then before I knew it... it was over. That was days ago... I still haven't been home. Did he call that night? I don't really know. Would I have spoken to him? I can't really say. Oh they were right... don't get me wrong. It really was a simple little process, done quickly and efficiently... afterwards whooshing you out the door so they can get on to the next in line. But they forget something. They don't tell you about the ache. Not a pain in your body but a pain that goes deep into your heart and feels like it will never go away. That is why I can't go home. My family will see it on me, the pain that is... I know I won't be able to hide it. Now I understood why Jenny looked like she did. This makes you hard and hollow. Why didn't they tell me about this part? Where you want to die inside, where you wonder if it really was the only choice. Did I really have to? Was it really my only option? Will God ever forgive me? Will I ever forgive myself? (Collapses on the stage cradling the bundle) I think I would have named her Emily. or The first time I tried to kill myself, I was ten. When I woke up the next morning, I was so relieved. I was so happy that I hadn't succeeded. I didn't tell anyone. And for a while, I was happy to be alive. A year later, I tried again. I've lost count of how many times I've tried. They were all cries for help. I tried to poison myself, overdose on sleeping pills, hang myself, drown myself, suffocate myself, and throw myself into traffic. Now, when I wake up after taking every sleeping pill in arm's reach and washing it down with a bottle of wine, I'm never, ever relieved. I feel trapped. I feel desperate. I feel like even more of a failure. And I have even wondered if the reason that I can't kill myself is because I'm already dead and in Hell. Depression is a living Hell. There's no better description than that. But your physical drive to live can undermine your mind's desire to die. Your instincts to breathe are hard to overcome. You can't bear another second of misery - but your heart just refuses to stop beating. It has some nerve. more

Open Question: Was I wrong to be mean to him?

So I'm 20 years old, and there's this guy who's 30 and has been asking me to go over to his house around 3 am for months...I tell him it's a ridiculous time to be asking me that, and he says "Oh but it's the only time I'm home; come on I have an extra bottle of wine waiting for you." If I tell him I have a test to study for and can't, he says something like "Well come over here and study. I'm proven to improve grades by at least 25% ;)" etc. He's a radio DJ so I guess he's not used to girls turning him down b/c he can get them concert tickets or something? idk. So finally, last night he IMed me saying he was in a hotel room and this is how the convo went: Me: oh, whatcha doing in a hotel room? Him: wouldn't you like to know ;) Me: not really. I just meant why aren't you at your home Him: I guess you don't read my status updates anymore? Me: Who said I ever read your status updates? then he went on for a while about how he was moving.... Him: So there's room for someone else in this bed, any suggestions? Me: hm nope. Him: lol. Me: I don't know how far you get being forward with other girls, but it won't get you anywhere with me. Just fyi. Him: You don't flirt? Me: Not with a guy I hardly know who's 10 years older than me and is only interested in seeing me at 3 in the morning. Him: I don't wanna mess with you Me: You certainly wanted to all of those other times you consistently demanded that I come over to your apartment at 3 in the morning. Him: Oh I was probably tipsy. Sorry. Me: k Him: Well thanks for making me feel bad. and then he just went into the "oh you're so beautiful and such a smart young lady" crap and I stopped responding to him. Was I too harsh? more

Resolved Question: Should I play peace maker between my fiance and his mother or leave well alone?

I am getting married in less than two months. My future mother in law has been very trying to put it mildly. For more details check out my previous questions. Anyway she finally pushed my fiance, her son, over the edge and after a major blow out he has banned her from the wedding. Don't ask how,'cause it's still a blur in my memory, she managed to spill red wine on my wedding dress during a fitting she was neither invited to or expected at. She just tagged along with another family member. It was like something out of a freaking movie - her bringing the wine and insisting we have some during the fitting and repeatedly ignoring requests to be careful and to keep her distance. When it happened I just burst out sobbing. The last time I was involved in this much drama I was helping to produce a Shakespearean play! She apologized then offered to lend me HER OLD WEDDING GOWN instead!!?? She even had the nerve to bring said wedding gown to our home later the same evening and tried to get her son to persuade me to wear it. When he heard about the spilled wine - I hadn't told him yet 'cause I didn't think I could do so without crying - there was 30 seconds or so of silence. Then it was like the eruption of Mount Vesuvius and last day of Pompei! I'd never seen my fiance so angry - it was shocking. He had a nose bleed afterwards - and he's doesn't normally get nose bleeds. He accused her of doing it on purpose and while I avoided going there in my mind I think he was right! Anyway my dress can be saved! I can't help it but I am seriously delighted at the thought of not having this woman at my wedding!! But she and her family is begging me to intervene. My fiance won't take her calls and threatened to call the police and report her for harassment if she doesn't stop calling and trespassing if she comes to our home. I know they should make up but my fiance is so much calmer after the blow up and I'm actually seeing more enthusiasm and involvement in the wedding planing details. It's fantastic!! If he was stressed out and miserable I would be peace maker despite my own issues with his mom, but he's not!! This is a serious moral dilemma. I know that if I approach my fiance about this I could probably sway him. Maybe they will make up by themselves in the next 7 weeks or so. Maybe they won't. I'm okay if they don't make up till after wedding. Sorry for the epic but your thoughts? more

Resolved Question: why does this always end up happening?

okay. so i have struggled with anxiety for years. im 20. basically once or twice a year, ill get so stressed or depressed that i end up having a huge panic attack, after that, i am in a "haze" for about a week or so. this "haze" is like derealization, and constant anxiety. i have always found ways to get rid of it, like taking medication. i start a medication, wait until it kicks in, then after a couple months when i feel better, i dicontinue the meds. i have done this for almost 5 years. last year, i had another anxiety episode, got on effexor, and when i decided to get off of effexor 4 months later, the withdrawals were absolute hell. after that i decided i was never going to get on medication again. i dont need medication, i just need to learn how to deal with stress so it doesnt get to the point of panic attacks. anyway. so i have basically been anxiety free for almost a year. recently, i quit my job and things have been very stressful. i got sick with a cold and was depressed for a week because i wasnt able to go out and do things i usually do. i felt a lot better the other night, and decided to drink wine with my best friend and girlfriend. i got trashed and when i woke up the next morning, i had a panic attack and had no idea why. usually ill get slight anxiety the day after drinking, but this was horrible. so basically that scared me really bad, and now for the last two days i have been having constant anxiety and feelin a bit depressed. i dont want to leave the house, and when im gone i dont want to go home. i dont want to shower. i dont want to clean, and i dont want to eat. i hate when this happens. anyway, i do not want to get back on medication. i know if i just continue to do things that are productive and make me happy, ill feel better in no time. im just really anxious. is there anything i can do to help ease my anxiety? more

Resolved Question: what was your most embarrassing moment on a first date?

tell us what happened,did you fall down a stairs?smiled with something stuck between your teeth all night only to discover it when you got home and then realized why you never got that good, good bye kiss?did your pants rip down the middle when you went to pick up something and you took the bus that night? my most embarrassing moment was when i made the mistake of going directly to a date from my work and i hadn't eaten since lunch,i was so tired,and i worked hard that day,so needless to say i could have eaten my left foot by the time i got to my date and while we were making small talk,i said can we order ?and she said "no we'll have two glasses of wine before dinner" so after one glass of wine i was drunk so i just ordered a basket of chicken legs and when it came,before my date could take one ,i don't know what happened,somehow the basket ended up under my chin,and when i looked down it was all meatless chicken,i had eaten every morsel of the chicken legs and wings in like two gulps and wasn't even noticing my date looking at me in horror,i was so drunk because wine on an empty stomach goes right to my brain and i was slushed,she excused herself about 10 mins later to go to the bathroom and never came back! i was left like one of those drunk guys you see at the end of the night at a dive bar,pigging out of a basket of chicken wings with more chicken on his face than in his mouth,saying" hey waitress ....burp...hick...you...come..here..often?then passes out! ha ha ha ooh to be young again!thanks my story is all true! to the girl who said she missed his lips ,usually is us guys who is in that position and ouch that was embarrassing ,but you know most guys would take that as prove that you never kissed a lot of guy before him so you should gain points for that mistake,so don't worry! if you were swollowing his face then that would be embarrassing it would mean you were a garden tool ok?take care! more

Resolved Question: Rinsing hair with wine vinegar?

Ok, so basically I'm having a beauty night with some friends and we're using household stuff. I heard that putting vinegar in your hair makes it shiny so I've got some in now. But THEN someone said that it could also make my hair go light or something???? I have dyed brown hair so I'm kind of freaking out now....Help??? What does wine vinegar in hair do to it??? Also, any other natural home-beauty sort of stuff we could try??? I also heard that eggs in your hair is good for it or something...is that true??? Thanks! more

Resolved Question: I have lived with a guy for almost 3 years he lost two businesees and works off and on when there is a job?

anytime I ask him any questions about the job he is doing, he says I am working how much did you make, alway 20.00,which is not the truth,am I asking alot to be honest and tell me what heth does and how much he makes, I am in sales and I tell him all about my job, how much I have i the bank etc.His car is broken so he uses my car ,our home is all my furniture and furnishings, I pay 2-300 a month he pays the rent which is 750, and constantly when I ask him anything about his job,or what he did during the day,he gets angry, and tells me to get out and take my stuff with me, this behavior is all new to me, he drinks all day too,today he really hurt my feelings,when I asked him why he could not clean the knife in the sink,he went off on me again and told me he disliked me and does not want anything to do with me and that is why he doesn't sleep with me. he drinks an 18 pack a day, jagermesiter and any wine he can get a hold of. I am so tired of this behavior and have no idea why anyone would treat someone like that. When his business went under, he lived with me, and I paid rent,utilites and he used my car for 9 months and then blew the transmission,I no I am a jerk,but what makes someone behave like that. I only want the best for him and for him to be a success, is he crazy or is it me??? more

Voting Question: Nasty person for a boss?

We are a small co, 5 of us in office 20 odd out in yard/warehouse. the owner works alongside us in office and is great but his assistant is awful to work with. He is cynical, see nasty in everything anyone does or says. is always putting ppl down, he is also racist and makes really nasty comments about 'pakkies' being really derogatory about asian ppl. he is 47 and never been married though has lived with someon in past. who walked out on him. he lives alone and spends lonely weekends going to his local wine bar. he doesnt have hols from work as he wud rather be at work with co than home alone. But what im trying to say is, he is a right pain to work with sometimes and i hate it when he speak to ppl the way he does, I try to ignore him but he does really annoy me. shud we have to put up with him more

Voting Question: what is this movie!? pleasee :D?

hey gus :D so i watched a movie a few years ago, and i always thought it was called panic room. but apparently not :/ haha. i dont really remember much, but hopefully someone does because its bugging me basically all i rememeber is that there was i think 3 boys (teenage) and they followed this girl and her brother and dad home (everyone was in cars), cause they thought she was pretty or something. and then some stuff happened and the family was trapped inside the house because of the 3 guys, i think they wanted money. not really sure. umm, then thats all i can remember until the end when one of the 3 guys goes crazy and started making bombs inside wine bottles and beer bottles and throwing them everywhere, and right at the very end the pretty girl said to him that she didnt love him or something and he killed himself. and i think the dad dies too. and the teenage guy that killed himself and made the wine bombs had longish hair if anyone can help me at all i would love you forever and ever :) xx more

Resolved Question: Is your marriage sexy enough?

Married for two years with a one year old son, and we've never let the fire die. Here are my tips on how to keep a relationship romantic and exciting...please share yours as well! 1) Have morning sex. Sure, you're groggy and don't feel very attractive when you wake up, but just DO IT! It's a positive start to your day, and he'll have plenty of images to entertain himself at work. 2) Text each other at least twice a day or have a brief phone call at lunch...anything to show your love and appreciation. And if you're brave enough, send a sexy picture 3) The first second you see each other after a work day, embrace in a passionate kiss. A little peck will NOT suffice. You should say "I love you" more than once a day, and display physical contact throughout your day. (Hold hands, rub their arm, squeeze their butt, anything at all) 4) Take showers together, and wash each other...and whatever else you fee like doing. 5) Cook dinner together. Try a new dish and have fun experimenting. 6) While your children are still babies...strip down to nothing or wear some lingerie when you spend your evenings at home. 7) Start a naughty tradition...Since Wednesday is "hump day" after all, we drive to a new and reasonably private spot every week and have some fun in the front seat. (And our little angel sleeps in his car seat the whole time) When you can't get a babysitter, try one of these "dates" 1) Take a bubble bath together and dine on some wine, chocolate and fancy cheese. 2) Go bowling or do miniature golf. Just take turns holding your little one or push them in a stroller so you have free hands. 3) If you live in an apartment...sneak out to the hottub once the baby is asleep, or make dinner and eat in the clubhouse. It's a change of scenery, and you can play pool afterwards. That's all I can think of for now. : ) more

Resolved Question: Meaning of being Drunk in dream?

Please help if you can interpret this dream for me. il try be as short as psb. Me, both my parents and cousin who doesnt live with us just got home after a very long walk on a summer day. For some reason my father is angry at me and im scared of going in the house. My female cousin stays outside with me and gives me wine which immediately makes me drunk and we start kissing outside. An old,very dark skinned stranger whose wearing a big jacket on such a hot day comes at the door and asks for my father. Now im forced to go in and tell my father some1 is here for him. As i go into the house something blinds my right eye and i can see my parents talking very softly in the bed room. I go take a piss instead and now it seems like my father know theres someone there but hes scared of going out to that person. After i come from the bathroom i ask him if hes gona go or not. Now hes no longer angry at me but is almost depending on me to help him as he is scared of the stranger outside. As i go back to the guy outside where my cousin also is and my father is following me, i woke up. All of this happened at my home and everything was exactly the way they are in real life, even inside the house. Please kindly help even if you know just a little. Thank you more

Resolved Question: Can you tell me what Reverse Racism is?

Because: When a group of people has little or no power over you institutionally, they don’t get to define the terms of your existence, they can’t limit your opportunities, and you needn’t worry much about the use of a slur to describe you and yours, since, in all likelihood, the slur is as far as it’s going to go. What are they going to do next: deny you a bank loan? Yeah, right. So whereas “nigger” was and is a term used by whites to dehumanize blacks, to imply their inferiority, to “put them in their place” if you will, the same cannot be said of honky: after all, you can’t put white people in their place when they own the place to begin with. Power is like body armor. And while not all white folks have the same degree of power, there is a very real extent to which all of us have more than we need vis-à-vis people of color: at least when it comes to racial position, privilege and perceptions. Consider poor whites. To be sure, they are less financially powerful than wealthy people of color. But that misses the point of how racial privilege operates within a class system. Within a class system, people tend to compete for “stuff” against others of their same basic economic status. In other words, rich and poor are not competing for the same homes, bank loans, jobs, or even educations to a large extent. Rich competes against rich, working class against working class and poor against poor. And in those competitions racial privilege most certainly attaches. Poor whites are rarely typified as pathological, dangerous, lazy or shiftless the way poor blacks are, for example. Nor are they demonized the way poor Latino/a immigrants tend to be. When politicians want to scapegoat welfare recipients they don’t pick Bubba and Crystal from some Appalachian trailer park; they choose Shawonda Jefferson from the Robert Taylor Homes, with her seven children. And according to reports from a number of states, ever since so-called welfare reform, white recipients have been treated far better by caseworkers, are less likely to be bumped off the rolls for presumed failure to comply with new regulations, and have been given far more assistance at finding new jobs than their black or brown counterparts. Poor whites are more likely to have a job, tend to earn more than poor people of color, and are even more likely to own their own home. Indeed, whites with incomes under $13,000 annually are more likely to own their own home than blacks with incomes that are three times higher due to having inherited property. None of this is to say that poor whites aren’t being screwed eight ways to Sunday by an economic system that relies on their immiseration: they are. But they nonetheless retain a certain “one-up” on equally poor or even somewhat better off people of color thanks to racism. It is that one-up that renders the potency of certain prejudices less threatening than others. It is what makes cracker or honky less problematic than any of the slurs used so commonly against the black and brown. In response to all this, skeptics might say that people of color can indeed exercise power over whites, at least by way of racially-motivated violence. Such was the case, for example, this week in New York City where a black man shot two whites and one Asian-Pacific Islander before being overpowered. Apparently he announced that he wanted to kill white people, and had hoped to set a wine bar on fire to bring such a goal to fruition. There is no doubt his act was one of racial bigotry, and that to those he was attempting to murder his power must have seemed quite real. Yet there are problems with claiming that this “power” proves racism from people of color is just as bad as the reverse. First, racial violence is also a power whites have, so the power that might obtain in such a situation is hardly unique to non-whites, unlike the power to deny a bank loan for racial reasons, to "steer" certain homebuyers away from living in “nicer" neighborhoods, or to racially profile in terms of policing. Those are powers that can only be exercised by the more dominant group as a practical and systemic matter. Additionally, the "power" of violence is not really power at all, since to exercise it, one has to break the law and subject themselves to probable legal sanction. Power is much more potent when it can be deployed without having to break the law to do it, or when doing it would only risk a small civil penalty at worst. So discrimination in lending, though illegal is not going to result in the perp going to jail; so too with employment discrimination or racial profiling. There are plenty of ways that more powerful groups can deploy racism against less powerful groups without having to break the law: by moving away when too many of "them" move in (which one can only do if one has the option of moving without having to worry about discrimination in housing.) Or one can discriminate in employmeOr one can discriminate in employment but not be subjected to penalty, so long as one makes the claim that the applicant of color was "less qualified," even though that determination is wholly subjective and rarely scrutinized to see if it was determined accurately, as opposed to being a mere proxy for racial bias. In short, it is institutional power that matters most. Likewise, it’s the difference in power and position that has made recent attempts by American Indian activists in Colorado to turn the tables on white racists so utterly ineffective. Indian students at Northern Colorado University, fed up by the unwillingness of white school district administrators in Greeley to change the name and grotesque Indian caricature of the Eaton High School “Reds,” recently set out to flip the script on the common practice of mascot-oriented racism.Thinking they would show white folks what it’s like to “be in their shoes” and experience the objectification of being a team icon, indigenous members of an intramural basketball team renamed themselves the “Fightin’ Whiteys,” and donned t-shirts with the team mascot: a 1950’s-style caricature of a suburban, middle class white guy, next to the phrase “every thang’s gonna be all white.” Funny though the effort was, it has not only failed to make the point intended, but indeed has been met with laughter and even outright support by white folks. Rush Limbaugh actually advertised for the team’s t-shirts on his radio program, and whites from coast to coast have been requesting team gear, thinking it funny to be turned into a mascot, as opposed to demeaning.Of course the difference is that it’s tough to negatively objectify a group whose power and position allows them to define the meaning of another group’s attempts at humor: in this case the attempt by Indians to teach them a lesson. It’s tough to school the headmaster, in other words. Objectification works against the disempowered because they are disempowered. The process doesn’t work in reverse, or at least, making it work is a lot tougher than one might think. Turning Indians into mascots has been offensive precisely because it is a continuation of the dehumanization of such persons over many centuries; the perpetuation of the mentality of colonization and conquest.It is not as if one group—whites—merely chose to turn another group—Indians—into mascots. Rather, it is that one group, whites, have consistently viewed Indians as less than fully human, as savage, as “wild,” and have been able to not merely portray such imagery on athletic banners and uniforms, but in history books and literature more crucially. In the case of the students at Northern, they would need to be a lot more acerbic in their appraisal of whites, in order for their attempts at “reverse racism” to make the point intended. After all, “fightin” is not a negative trait in the eyes of most white folks, and the 1950’s iconography chosen for the uniforms was unlikely to be seen as that big a deal.Perhaps if they had settled on “slave-owning whiteys,” or “murdering whiteys,” or “land-stealing whiteys,” or “smallpox-giving-on-purpose whiteys,” or “Native-people-butchering whiteys,” or “mass raping whiteys,” the point would have been made. And instead of a smiling “company man” logo, perhaps a Klansman, or skinhead as representative of the white race: now that would have been a nice functional equivalent of the screaming Indian warrior. But see, you gotta go strong to turn the tables on the man, and ironic sarcasm just ain’t gonna get it nine times out of ten.Without the power to define another group’s reality, Indian activists are simply incapable of turning the tables by way of well-placed humor. Simply put, what separates white racism from any other form, and what makes anti-black, anti-brown, anti-yellow, or anti-red humor more biting and more dangerous than its anti-white equivalent is the ability of the former to become lodged in the minds of and perceptions of the citizenry. White perceptions are what end up counting in a white-dominated society. If whites say Indians are savages (be they of the “noble” or vicious type), then by God, they’ll be seen as savages. If Indians say whites aremayonnaise-eating Amway salespeople, who the hell is going to care? If anything, whites will simply turn it into a marketing opportunity. When you have the power, you can afford to be self-deprecating, after all. The day that someone produces a newspaper ad that reads: “Twenty honkies for sale today: good condition, best offer accepted,” or “Cracker to be lynched tonight: whistled at black woman,” then perhaps I’ll see the equivalence of these slurs with the more common type to which we’ve grown accustomed. When white churches start getting burned down by militant blacks who spray paint “kill the honkies” on the sidewalks outside, then maybe I’ll take seriously these concerns over “reverse racism.” Until then, I guess I’ll find myself laughing at the thought of another old Saturday Night Live skit: this time with Garrett Morris as a convict in the prison talent show who sings: Gonna get me a shotgun and kill all the whiteys I see.But in actuality that is what the white man sings, that is what he sings about the BLACKS who made America great. more

Voting Question: does usps make you sign for alcohol?

I want to order alcohol off the internet, but my little brother is frequently the only one home. Does anyone have to sign for it, and would they have to be 21? The alcohol in question, if a special vintage wine from Spain. more

Resolved Question: Is your marriage SEXY enough?

Married for two years with a one year old son, and we've never let the fire die. Here are my tips on how to keep a relationship romantic and exciting...please share yours as well! 1) Have morning sex. Sure, you're groggy and don't feel very attractive when you wake up, but just DO IT! It's a positive start to your day, and he'll have plenty of images to entertain himself at work. 2) Text each other at least twice a day or have a brief phone call at lunch. Compliment the other person, say something naughty...anything that will show your love and appreciation. And if you're brave enough, send a sexy picture. 3) The first second you see each other after a work day, embrace in a passionate kiss. A little peck will NOT suffice. You should say "I love you" more than once a day, and display physical contact throughout your day. (Hold hands, rub their arm, squeeze their butt, anything at all) 4) Take showers together, and wash each other...and whatever else you feel like doing. 5) Cook dinner together. Try a new dish and have fun experimenting. 6) While your children are still babies...strip down to nothing or wear some lingerie when you spend your evenings at home. 7) Start a naughty tradition...Since Wednesday is "hump day" after all, we drive to a new and reasonably private spot every week and have some fun in the front seat. (And our little angel sleeps in his car seat the whole time) When you can't get a babysitter, try one of these "dates": 1) Take a bubble bath together and dine on some wine, chocolate and fancy cheese. 2) Go bowling or do miniature golf. Just take turns holding your little one or push them in a stroller so you have free hands. 3) If you live in an apartment...sneak out to the hottub once the baby is asleep, or make dinner and eat in the clubhouse. It's a change of scenery, and you can play pool afterwards. That's all I can think of for now. : )In response to the first Answerer: I clearly said that morning sex will give him something to think about at WORK. We make extra time for each other in the morning. more

Resolved Question: Don't know what to do...?

((abridged version)) I am 21 years old, living on my own and have no direction in life. the only reason I am lucky enough to have a "place" of my own is because I had rich grandparents, whose inherited money I currently live off of. I was hit by a car in 2nd grade and nearly died. I had a hairline fracture on my skull and internal bleeding in the brain. My version of what happened in the accident and what im told happened contradict each other. Ever since then I feel as if I have been treated differently by everyone. My Mother had always made it clear to guests, whether they be friends I had invited over or adults, that "ever since the accident, Alex has changed. He's less happier" is how it usually came out. This was usually the kind of recognition or attention I received seeing as I am the middle child. ((I'm not saying that i conform entirely to the belief of middle child syndrome, but there is a fair amount of truth to it.)) My Father passed away in the summer or 2001 to cancer, two days after my birthday. We weren't very close. I remember watching the last gasps of life leaving his body. The family standing around watching, crying. I dont know why but I went to the sofa, which had clutter already on it and nestled myself in the remaining space. I cried myself to sleep, almost forcibly. I guess I couldn't stomach watching any longer. I look upon myself as a coward for doing that. When I woke up I watched the paramedics lift my Dad from his in-home hospital bed and placed into a body bag and hauled out on a stretcher. That was the last time I saw my dad. Ever since then I don't remember seeing my Mom without a glass of wine in her hand. After 8th grade I was sent to a public High School, when all of my friends were sent to a private all boys school. After my brother had graduated and all the upperclassmen I had known gone, I felt alone because I was only friends with a handful of people in my grade who I had felt weren't completely fake. I was essentially a loner until I had met this girl. she was kind to me. I felt as if she genuinely cared for me. It didn't take long for us to forge a strong relationship. We had dated for 3 years, her family welcomed me into their home. I had refused my families wishes to go out of state for college so that I could still be with her. What a mistake. Turns out that she had started to like a co-worker. She tells me " I need to make sure there is no one out there better than you". After 6 months of drowning myself in sorrow in complete isolation( the refusal to go to school had a great friction with my family) She starts talking to me again. we agree to meet for lunch. Out of my own pathetic lonesome self I accepted her back into my life. The short time that we are together I am re-thinking my choice to commit to her again, but before I tell her how I feel, she turns up pregnant. We had only been back together a little over a month I didn't know if I was being set up. She seemed very happy, no apprehension. We had discussed our options and our feeling on everything. In the end, she choose to have an abortion, pill form(at home). we told no one. I thought watching my father die was a hard thing to do.....I think I lost a part of my soul that night...the images are burned into my mind. We no longer talk. Its been over a year now. She is married and has a daughter with someone she only knew for a month. I guess I cant blame her. I currently go to a JC with failing grades and no interest of any kind. there is no passion or interest. I feel detached and emotionless. I don't have any friends that i can say are true. I spend most of my time alone in my room. So here I am...a long road of bad decisions and tragedy...no current heading of any sort and no one to ask for advice..No ambition or inspiration...where is my future? what is my purpose?Edit: I can feel a lot of the anger and hate building inside...its like being tempted by the dark side more

Resolved Question: Tell Wife Or Tell Him First That I'm Telling Wife Hes Gay?

Ok so I posted last night..appreciate the comments. Here's what I said.... I am a 27 yr old gay man and I've been seeing this married man for the last 3 yrs...now it's basically just for sex but I sorta do have feelings for the guy...but I just found out 3 weeks ago basically he's just a big liar....should I be shocked? Here's the thing.... He is a very private man. He won't even call me from a unblocked number....doesn't really talk about his family or his life much. Just basically know he works in the wine business, has 3 kids (12 -16) and that's basically it. It's just physical stuff we do so I guess he really doesn't owe me anything but I do like the man....BUT I had a client of mine email me with a link to his profile on his work site. I went on it and was just looking around and found my guys pic and profile....his name is completely different than what I thought and he's not even in the wine business...hes a attorney. I googled his name just to see what comes up...found a thing online for his oldest son who is a hockey player and he is 20...not 16 like he recently told me. I even found his wifes work website....she works in the same building as him. Needless to say I was ticked off...my grandmother passed away almost 2 weeks ago and I emailed him and told him what happened and that I wanted to see him (even though I was still sorta pissed). I just needed to be with someone in a sexual way to help my saddness over my grandma...he did not respond till just 4 days ago and all his email said was "sorry in Columbus OH..be back on Saturday.". Not even acknowledging my grandma and saying sorry to hear that or anything.....so now I am just at a point where I want to tell him to F off and just email his wife and tell her Ive been seeing him for 3 yrs and that he used a fake name/life. He told me I was the only guy but I just don't believe that now...I suspect he's probably sleeping with other men too. It's just hard because yes, I was in the wrong...I knew he was married. I should have stayed away and I guess the bottom line is, he doesn't owe me anything. We aren't really a couple. But im still hurt and upset and feel used and stupid....please help. What should I do? I've been going back and forth and im at the point now where I just want to tell his wife....I know it's going to hurt her and maybe it's wrong for me to feel this way, but I don't care. I can't let him get away with being a jerk to me and his wife...it's just wrong. But now what do I do? I keep getting these ideas like let him come back over. He always gets undressed in my office and then comes in my bedroom (y I dunno. He always does that) do what we normally do but in the middle be like "I gotta use the bathroom..b right back..." go out, in the office, grab his clothes and just throw them in the shower, turn the water on and go back in the bedroom and confront him and tell him to leave now...he'll have no choice but to put his wet clothes on then go home to his wife....childish I know but yet it's harmless and a way to just make him realize how much of a piece of sh*t he is....then email the wife. Or should I just not do that, maybe just email him and show him his profile/pic I found and tell him im telling his wife or do I just not tell him and just email the wife? I really don't want to call her. O and someone said in my other post to have proof...I do. I've saved all his emails and I even have a voicemail on my phone with him saying "hey it's Brian (fake name) ect...". I can email the voicemail from my phone and im sure she would recognize his voice....what should I do?Thanks for the replies so far...I know I probably sound pathetic and childish. Im just disgusted that I would let someone in my bed the last 3 yrs then discover every thing was a lie...what if I get some disease from him or let him give his wife something....he has to b hooking up with other guys. He knows what he's doing and I fell for everything....I just feel like I can't just say "ok that's fine" and let it go without him feeling some sort of regret.& yes I know he was basically just using me...I know this. You could say I was using him too. All I wanted was sex. I would b lieing if I said I didn't have some sort of feelings for the guy. He's been coming over for 3 yrs and he's the only guy I've been with. I wouldn't want him to move in with me though and b "together".....I just can't handle the LIES...even the little things like his kids age....it just makes me sick. I can respect being discreet. That's why I was fine with him never giving me his number and blocking it...but don't lie to me. It's messed up. more

Resolved Question: Step by step process for at home wine-making?

I want to ferment alcohol out of pears and mangos, what ingredients do i need? and what will i need to do? i have never made wine before so i do not have any special brewing supplies.. help? more

Resolved Question: how much sugar does yeast need to feed on to create alcohol?

im wanting to make home made wine using kool aid, sugar and yeast.. can anybody tell em the correct measurements for it more

Resolved Question: Can you cellar home made red wine?

I am going to try making red wine at home... Will this wine cellar alright and is it possible to make a good quality wine? more

Voting Question: any tips on how to make wine at home?

if you have any tips on how to make and the stuffs needed, pls. help. more

Resolved Question: What do you think of this rap. BQ inside also?

I see those cars rushing past me, in the street i see you and you see me. What happens when your car hits a tree? you gonna blame me? What has the world come to, today. Little girls making babies like christmas day! Boys shooting fast with there guns, like they got nothing to live for, throw my life away, what else can i say? I hear my mom screaming, GET A JOB GO TO WORK! I cant ma, i reply im sounding like a jerk. I wanna get my life straight, kiss goodbye to the headaches. I get up one morning, 7AM, i turn and go back to bed, 3 hours later, i get a phone call, YOUR WANTED IN COURT MAN 11AM! Dude what i do? I say to my home boy... Thought's running through my brain, like a shot of cocaine. Dont wanna make a scence. Turns out, I gotta do my time, for cracking some wine in distruction, I pay a fine. Man, thats all my money, I gotta get straight, before its to late. Before, im behind bars, cracking some metal. Looks like ive just explained what the world is today, am I to blame? No its those TV shows... Guns shooting off, people getting muffed up, then cuffed up. Damn im a man of today.. but i gotta go my own way! Bonus Question- Can you find a good beatbox on youtube of someone thats not famous and that can be a good beat for this rap.o and if you spam, ill report you more

Voting Question: how to make wine at home?

Resolved Question: What do you think of my first short chapter?

The story is going to be called weddings, funerals, and other miseries. I'm fifteen, I aced my English test last week and I've only edited this chapter once. Chapter one. It was another wet night for Alex, he locked up the shop, combed his slick, black hair and began to bike his way home, just like he did every other night. Alex had worked at the local music store for the past five years now, he got hired when he was fifteen by his Dad, who ran the store, and now Alex was in management; His parents died in a tragic accident, they were driving home from another wedding, for some reason his family liked weddings, funerals, any annoying gathering that forces misery or happiness onto everyone there. Of course, they were drunk. Driving by the cliffs near his seaside house, his Father swerved from the edge into the deep blue below them, the car wasn’t found for another two weeks, all that was left from each person was half a decaying corpse, Alex didn’t talk about this much, he hated it. The funeral was like any other, the same lot always arriving, one man arrived who Alex had never seen before, the man left before the wake when he was hoping he would be able to introduce himself. Alex moved into a new apartment, the depression of riding past the cliffs every day antagonized him, it made him more pissed off to be upset, that he would forget about being upset. Alex sat on his bed in his foggy, green swamp of a bedroom, and opened his draw where he kept all the savings he had, as well as his “special friend”. He pulled out a bag of white powder and walked into his living room. He poured some coke onto the glass coffee table that he lost his virginity on and began his favorite part, pulling out the razorblade and making fine lines, pouring out some wine to drink between lines. He was ready to snort the chemicals deep into his system. He rolled up a ten pound note and bent over the table, sniffing up line by line until he had finished three. He gulped down his blood red wine, tipped the rest of his Charlie into the bag and rolled up a joint. He turned on his old television and put on some Saturday morning cartoons, that was the strange thing about cocaine, Alex could stay up all night, and even weed wouldn’t tire him. He would stare at the walls then, just to end the high on a subtle note, watch some cartoons, baked out of his mind, sinking deeper into the sofa. There was a knock at the door “Rent money…rent money…rent money!!” Alex leapt into his bedroom and grabbed the one hundred pound for this week. He opened the door to see an old woman, somewhere in her eighties: purple hair, too much make up, curlers in. “Her you go Mrs. Wench. All one hundred, I love your red hair today.” Alex always gave her a compliment, just so she wouldn’t get annoyed with him and decide to search the flat. She always preferred having her hair called red, even she doesn’t know why, the crack around her lips looked like various canals leading into a big see of red lipstick. “Oh fuck off you little shit, I know what you’re up to!” ”And a nice day to you too, Mrs. Wench!” He called after her on her way down the corridor. more

Resolved Question: How to break out of a rut?

I'm primarily interested in answers from people who have been in similar situations and understand. Please no rude comments, I'm feeling low enough as it is. I just need some encouragement. Last summer I moved to a new country, said good-bye to family and friends, left a good job, gave up all my belongings and got married. I was unable to get a license, SSN, or work until my paperwork was approved. Finally they approved everything. I was a massage therapist back home but since it's regulated in my state I need to take a big exam which has been wracking me with anxiety. I write next Friday and everytime I open my books I feel overwhelmed. I haven't worked since last summer and just feel like crap. I've applied for a bunch of jobs to give me something to do while I was waiting to write my exam but I didn't get a call back, not even from clothing or video stores. I wake up feeling nauseas, sad, scared. I've put on a bit of weight since I've got here, not much but enough to make my clothes tighter. My husband is very supportive and patient. He doesn't expect a lot out of me but sometimes I wish he would to motivate me more. I just feel worthless and inadequate and I'm not sure how to break out of this rut! Sometimes I even drink a couple glasses of wine to get the edge off but that only makes me feel sluggish and I don't feel like doing anything. My eating is terrible - because of the anxiousness I have little to no appetite. The only time I'm able to eat a meal is when my husband comes home from work. I love to cook for him and it also makes me feel somewhat worthwhile. Anyone had sucess with breaking out of a rut similar to this? Any tips? I don't want to feel afraid/depressed anymore. I don't want to be mad or hard on myself anymore either. Thank you for reading. more

Resolved Question: I think I was set up by my best mates boyfriend, please read before you judge.......?

Nearly 3 years ago now, I lost my sister. She was killed in a very bad crash. My head was a mess when this happened and I took refuge in a best friend of mine, she asked me back to hers. My head was all over the place. We had a few bottles of wine, probably not the best thing to do and carried on drinking. I was rather drunk. I'm not the sort of person to get drunk either but I guess it helped to block out the pain. A few hours later, her boyfriend turned up. He said how sorry he was re my sister. My friend and I were talking in another room. A few hours after this, (from what I recall), my friend left the room and I vaguely remember her arguing with him. She said she was leaving because she was fed up of that ****er. Because she'd been drinking, I told her I didn't want to go but she stormed off anyway and was drink driving. I was about to leave myself (via taxi) but realised I didn't know the name of the flat. I tried phoning her that night on her mobile but no answer, her phone was off. I was left there alone. Well, her boyfriend was there. He came into the room. I admit I was drunk. I really don't remember anything after this point. The next day, my friend called. Said she'd calmed down but i'd had virtually no sleep because I was drunk and had things on my mind. I asked her the name and number of the flat as I wanted to go home but she said not to worry as she'd come and pick me up. I waited outside the flat for her. She picked me up and dropped me home. A few hours later, she text me and asked did I sleep with her boyfriend? I said no!! Why would she think that? Apparently her boyfriends jeans were on the lounge floor where I'd been sleeping. I feel I was set up. I told her I hadn't. She ditched me as a mate and I've spent all these years re-playing things over in my head. As a person, I would never, ever sleep with a mates boyfriend. I sunk into deep depression after losing my sister and my friend. Tried committing suicide twice. No, don't worry, I'm not guilty of anything but I just felt like it was the best place to be. I miss my sister so much. Since then, I have had reoccuring dreams of my friend and I. I long to tell her that this was a set up. I feel guilty for something I haven't done. I know I'm going to get a backlash of answers off people accusing me of allsorts. It's ok, I can handle it. I've spent nearly 3 years beating myself into the ground. So, punish me again if it makes you feel better. I don't want to end my life anymore but I feel constantly under pressure until I speak to my friend (now ex friend on her terms). I just don't know how to or if I should. She did say to me, when she cut me off that if she saw me again she would 'beat the living crap out of me'. Not saying i'm scared (we're 31) but I just need to talk to her. more

Resolved Question: Friend coming to dinner (got really drunk last time)?

My friend (of many, many years), his wife and daughter are coming to our house for dinner next weekend. In the past, we have usually had a couple of glasses of wine with the meal and then, if his wife is driving home, follow it up with a couple of glasses of whisky as the night progresses. For some reason which he has never explained (perhaps stress at work or worrying about something), the last time they came, he got really drunk. He was too unwell to travel home so the family had to spend the night at ours. The kids and our wives went to bed after which he was sick several times - including one time in bed (as he couldn't get up quickly enough and once on the way to the bathroom when he didn't quite make it). I had to help him wash as he wasn't steady enough to use the shower on his own. He was sick down or soiled all his own clothes plus some nightwear and underwear that I lent him and eventually went to sleep naked on two plastic sheets we had kept from when the children were very small. The next morning, as well as having no clothes to wear and feeling very ill, he was mortified at his behaviour. He took home and either cleaned or replaced everything that he had dirtied and returned the things to us accompanied by a letter of apology. I have explained to him that, as far as I am concerned, there is nothing more to apologise for and that I would rather him do what he did at my house where he was safe rather than out on the town or away on a business trip when anything could have happened. His wife has confirmed to my wife that it hasn't happened again since. However, on the basis that I still don't know if there was any underlying reason why he decided to have a blast, when they come next week do you think we should follow the usual routine or have water with the meal and coffee afterwards? Would appreciate your thoughts. more

Resolved Question: what if he makes less money than I do?

I have meet a wonderful man. He is responsible and respectful. We are an older couple, close to retirement. He has mentioned that he cannot go an do all the things that I would like to do because he cannot afford it. I said I understand and I am not a material girl. I would enjoy just staying home and listening to music or going for long walk. I don't have to be wined and dinned. We are also dealing with a long distant relationship here. So here is my question. How can I help him understand that money is not everything in a relationship? I don't want to make him feel bad. He works really hard and I don't want to make him feel like I expect more than what he is able to afford. We do share the cost of some things when we do go out. So how can I help him understand that I am not like that? more

Resolved Question: I raped a girl and I feel horrible can somebody please help me?

Hi this is Bobby. Last week i was having a party with friends and we were drinking a lot and I was going to drive home. when i saw one of the girls at the party walking home. So i followed her and raped her behind a tree. She tried fighting back and she stabbed me with a stick and i had a distinct marking on my left cheek. I went home and told my mom i was crying and panicking feeling horrble about what i did. And now i am getting heavy charges pressed against me. Now, this is a story all about how My life got flipped-turned upside down And I liked to take a minute Just sit right there I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air In west Philadelphia born and raised On the playground was where I spent most of my days Chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school When a couple of guys Who were up to no good Startin making trouble in my neighborhood I got in one little fight and my mom got scared She said 'You're movin' with your auntie and uncle in Bel Air' I begged and pleaded with her day after day But she packed my suite case and send me on my way She gave me a kiss and then she gave me my ticket. I put my walkman on and said, 'I might as well kick it'. First class, yo this is bad Drinking orange juice out of a champagne glass. Is this what the people of Bel-Air Living like? Hmmmmm this might be alright. But wait I hear there're prissy, wine all that Is Bel-Air the type of place they send this cool cat? I don't think sow I'll see when I get there I hope they're prepared for the prince of Bel-Air Well, the plane landed and when I came out There was a dude who looked like a cop standing there with my name out I ain't trying to get arrested I just got here I sprang with the quickness like lightening, disappeared I whistled for a cab and when it came near The license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror If anything I can say this cab is rare But I thought 'Now forget it' - 'Yo homes to Bel Air' I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 And I yelled to the cabbie 'Yo homes smell ya later' I looked at my kingdom I was finally there To sit on my throne as the Prince of Bel Air more

Voting Question: I raped a girl and I feel horrible can somebody help me out please?

Resolved Question: What do you think of my writing??

NOTE: CRITIQUE WILL MAKE ME LOVE YOU. Red wine. Erin swirled the dark liquid delicately around in her glass before taking another dainty sip. Leaning far back into her comfortable armchair, she tilted her head back and admired the silence of the moment. No one talking, no one ordering her around, and best of all no one asking her any questions about anything at all. No more “Erin, are you sure—absolutely certain that you don’t remember anything?” Or “What do you think happened to Richard? Do you know where he is Erin?” “Erin, are you alright?” Even silly everyday questions had come to bother her: “How are you?” “Did you understand the math homework?” It barely mattered what the truth was anymore. In asking the question they already had her answer planned out and firmly fixed in their minds. She lifted her heavy head up and took another swallow of wine—this one far more desperate and far less dainty than the last. She held the wine up to the dim flickering candle beside her, the only source of light in the room. A lamp was too risky. If either of her parents saw the light from under the door they would come in, when all Erin wanted was to be alone with her memories. ‘I sound like an 80 year old woman. . .’ the thought drifted across her mind slowly like the smoke from a flame. There one minute and gone the next. Erin looked harder into her glass of wine, seeming to search the smallest of oceans for the answer to her largest of problems. The small and wavering light made for a beautiful effect between the deep red of the wine and the sparkling of her mother’s finest crystal. A beautiful shimmer. . ethereal sparkle. . .timeless. . perfect. . beautiful. She could feel her mind drifting, further and further away. Feeling her eyes begin to shut, and her soul wandering, Erin carelessly released the glass in her hand. The glass fell to the floor and spilled all over her legs, and managed to extinguish the small tea candle she had lit. With a gasp, Erin jerked back home. What had she been doing?! She couldn’t believe her foolishness. As she sat there in the dark, the silence which had seemed so peaceful only moments before had now grated against her ears. Every breath of wind was a night terror rising from the depths of her past to come up and drown her. Every ticking off a far off clock a hammer falling, sentencing her to an awful fate. Terrified and Erin rose up and fumbled for the switch to her lamp. When at last light flooded the room, Erin paled—horrified at the sight before her. The fine crystal glass lay haphazardly on her pale blue carpeting, the tea candle just scant inches away. Shaking, Erin bent down and ran quivering fingers over her carpet. Completely dry. No sign of the wine anywhere at all. Not a stain left anywhere. She felt like crying. She was trapped. Her breathing became unsteady as she changed her position to rest her head on her knees. ‘Stupid, stupid, stupid!’ No longer tipsy at all Erin knew without a doubt that she had just made the second biggest mistake of her life. She had spent three years running from those awful, terrible creatures. Three long years spent trying to forget what they had stolen from her. And now in a moment of weakness, of stupidity, or careless irresponsibility—she had begun her nightmare all over again. She had begun to, somehow, slip back into Faerie. And whats worse, by spilling the wine, she had made them an offering. She looked again at the painfully clean carpeting before her and let a few tears escape. She had made an offering, and they had accepted it. Please note that this would serve as the prologue. (I don't write sequentially, lol) more

Resolved Question: Bridal shower at parents home?

Hello, This is my sister's second wedding and the bridal shower will be at my moms house in Florida. I have to fly down for the weekend cause I live in another state. I am the maid of honor. I am also giving her money towards her reception but she knows I am throwing her the shower so we decided I will not give her money in the envelope which she is fine with cause I am helping out with everything else. There will be about 14 to 16 adults at the shower and my nieces... My moms house is beautiful and I want to make it special so should I hire a catering company to come and have buffets and it will be one server. I would do a nice lunchon on a Saturday.The prices are not bad in Florida... Would that be nice or should I just buy appetizers from Sams Club with wine/drinks... Which would be better? I appreciate your input.thank you i have the money it is no problem. i rather be eating and giving her the gifts to open. more

Resolved Question: How much wine do you drink? Especially Mediterraneans...?

I drink a bottle of wine most nights. I start with my meal and it lasts a few hours - remember there are only 3 large glasses in a bottle. I don't get drunk. I drink as though I would do if I were in France or Spain. In the UK we are bombarded with adverts 'if you drink more than 2 glasses of wine a day you will die of this and that (a different thing each week), I know it is partially a scare tactic to try and stop teenage binge drinkers in the UK but once you add up what you drink it is far more than the government (who probably drink a bottle of whiskey when they get home at night) say you should drink. Am i being paranoid thinking that these few glasses with my meal are going to kill me or is it not normal? i'm 32, healthy, good diet, exercise, drink lots of water in the day, i had a blood test for everything the month and liver was one of them and it was perfectly healthy. Is the british government making me paranoid? is that what normal people drink in countries like france and spain? more

Voting Question: Drinking Listerine mouthwash to get a buzz?

I'm in high school, and painfully shy. I can't seem even to open up and be myself, because of extreme self-induced paranoia I've developed over the past 4 years. I am too shy to make my own friends... and it seems the only time I can ever be genuinely social at school is with alcohol. I tried brandy, wine and rum whenever it was convenient. Unfortunately for certain reasons I can't obtain these anymore. So, since stealing alcohol didn't work, I resorted to feeble attempts at stealing bud light from flea markets. Never got any yet; I don't have the courage and shop-lifting is entirely against my own beliefs. But I feel as if this is it. I read that Listerine has a high enough alcohol content; after drinking 600ml and suffering annoying stomach aches without any buzz, I've realized that Listerine probably won't work for me, at least, not at the moment. But I hate being so fucking tied-up and uncomfortable for no fucking reason, and alot of the times my friends think I don't like them... I'm extremely conscious of my own voice inside class rooms, and it is like I barely socialize until I'm outside, and then only when I'm comfortable. I'm tired of pretending I'm stronger then I really am; I have tried for the past 4 years to overcome my fear of rejections / paranoia / self-consciousness. I do not have social-anxiety disorder. I don't have autism. I don't have anxiety / ADHD. If you think I'm denying realistic possibilities, then fuck off. My life is insane and pointless with this 0 self-esteem and nothing works (NOTHING except alcohol). So far, all that has worked is a little bit of liquid confidence. Yup. Nothing else. So please, without any stupid, bitch-ass remarks or lame jokes, give me any suggestions on how to overcome my paranoia and how to feel + act the same everywhere as I do when I'm comfortable? (with best friends, at home, etc.) I get too offended, too easily. Sometimes I unconsciously turn into a kiss-ass, and it pisses me off. I don't wanna hear any bullshit about how I'm killing my liver, etc. I honestly don't care about that.@starstruck actually, the point of this question was to get an alternative to alcohol. You can call this a pity party; it might be, but it wasn't intentionally. I am trying to get a solution. more

Voting Question: What to make for dinner? (with specific things)?

I have: a semi-home made tomato sauce, creamy, made w/ salt and basil. a fairly big romano tomato. balsamic vinegar, white wine vinegar, fresh mozzarella, Asiago cheese (may be used by someone else before i get any), dried oregano, fresh parsley, fresh mint, fresh basil, dried basil, and dried parsley. also a few other simple like olive oil, pepper, salt, ect. oh, and noodles (i have many many types.) so i know i could make something decent out of this, but any suggestions on what could pair w/ what to make a realy good thing? oh, and it'd have to be a kind of pasta, pretty obviously :/. well, thanks more

Resolved Question: How do I make myself taller?

I know how tall you are depends on a lot of things from your diet to genetics (i think). Well Anyway Im a 19 year old hispanic male. Im 5 feet 11 inches. My ma is about 5'9" my dad is about 5'10". I eat fast food alot. At home my diet consists of Roman Noodles and Franzia Wine. I just moved out on my own and dont have a grip of money to buy as much healthy food as i would like. I know if I grow anymore it wont be much but I would like to maximize what I do have left. Oh yeah I dont excercise too much either, if that means anything. Any recommendations besides got milk??? Thanks alot! more

Resolved Question: Nightmare saturday night?

This is going to be a very long story cut as short as possible. Saturday night I went to a work friends house for a girls night in. Pizza and rose wine spritzers. The night was super fab up until her mum came home and we all started drinking white wine (A drink I dont normally have). The white wine was finished and the vodka came out but I refused it because at new year I got rather loud, danced like an idiot and my husband did not like it so I said i'd lay of spirits from then on. My friends mum went to bed and WHAM BAM thats the last I remember. I have no recollection of my life after 1am Sunday morning. Apparently I started drinking diet coke but then decided I didnt want it and poured it all over my friends floor. I then smashed a glass and held it as if I was going to hurt her with it. I then locked her out of her house for an hour, ate an apple from my bag and spat it all over her carpet!! I was taken home by a taxi. I threw my coat over his head whilst he was driving and snatched the glasses off his face! I found out all of this by another friend who contacted me the following day to see if I was ok. My hangover has lasted two days. I had vomited all over my house and my husband said he was looking into my face and shouting 'what have you taken' but it was if I had died because although I was looking at him there was no life in me or my eyes. The friends conservatory was practically trashed and she was so hysterical and traumatised after what I had done she refused to speak to anyone until today.; I am absolutely appauled at my behaviour and so upset that I could threaten or upset anyone in any way shape or form. This girl is like my sister and we are close (even though she is 12 years younger than me) Today I sent her and her mum some flowers to her home as she had called in sick at work because of what had happened. We have eventually spoken this evening and i cant apologise enough for the way I have behaved and we will sort it out in time but not before I make it up to her and her family. To be honest, if I had been told i'd murdered somebody I wouldnt have known any better and I would have believed them - thats how bad I actually was! I have been drunk many times and ive been funny, merry, stupid and over the top but never ever violent or disrespectful to anyone. I take beta blockers and citralopam for severe post natal depression. Could these meds have interacted with the alcohol making it stronger or made my moods aggressive? Ive drank more than I did saturday night many a time and never had blackouts. Its all so very scary. Sorry for the long winded story. Any help would be great please. Im so devastated by terrible behaviour. Thank youthere is no way a drug was slipped in to my drink. Im talking about a very highly respectable family. No possoble way.By the way, I dont have a drink 'habit'. I only drink social once a month or once every other month - thats surely not a habit? more

Resolved Question: Before Jesus turned water into wine, did He make sure everybody had a designated cameldriver?

so everybody could get home safely more

Voting Question: Would my mother be considered an alcoholic? and is it so bad?

My mother drinks every day. She does not get herself completly smashed but as soon as she gets home from work she pours herself a wine and drinks until bed time. She drinks about half a bottle to a bottle of wine every night. If I bring it up she tells me to shut up and says she is not hurting anyone. She holds down a job, has hobbies and still lives a normal life, and she does not drink hard liqour or drink secretly. She has been this way as long as I can remember but I think it is getting worse as she gets older. She just can not go one day without drinking and it doesnt matter what the circumstance she will always make sure she has wine with her. For example, my daughter was very sick in hospital and when we got out of hospital my mother came to stay to help out for a few days. Even with a sick toddler in the house and all the stress we were going through she still had to pop down to the store to get herself a few bottles of wine. And when she discovered I had no wine glasses she went to her car and got an emergency wine glass she keeps in her glove box. I mean who does that? But since she still has a normal life, goes through most of her day sober would she be considered an alcoholic? And is it so bad if it does not hurt anyone? also she has bad blood pressure and cholestrol and has to take medication every day could her drinking and blood pressure be a lethal combination? more

Resolved Question: Making your own liquor?

Can someone make their own liquor? I know you can buy those home wine making kits at the store, but what about harder stuff like whisky and vodka? I got a garden where I can plant potatoes for vodka. How would someone make their own liquor? and would it be cheaper than buying a bottle? more

Resolved Question: Does my husband sound controlling to you? Would you divorce because of this?

We have been married for 2 and a half years. I don't go out and when I do I come home around 11. All I do is go to dinner with my dance troupe (all women) or meet once in a while to make costumes for the season. Everytime I happen to go out I come home to an upset husband. He says that if I tell him I'll be home at 10 I should call if I'm gonna be a little later than that. A little later meaning 10:30 or 11. If I don't call, evehn if he calls and I pick up which I always do, and tell him I'm sorry I'll be home 15 minutes later he gets upset because he had to call and not me. If I'm not home right when I said I would be I'm given a hard time. He sometimes calls me 5 times when I'm out and when I studied abroad for three weeks he asked me to call twice a day in addition to him calling the hotel at 12 midnight to make sure I didn't go out and I'd be in bed. His excuse was that I had school at 9 a.m. When we had a trip to do some wine tasting he got upset and asked me not to do it because I'm a girl in a foreign country. But I was with professors and staff. These are just some examples. When I got back from my trip he was upset and didn't talk to me because I wasn't able to buy a phone card and let him know I was boarding the plane. This guy is two-months younger than me. We are both 25 but I tell him he acts worst than a parent. My attraction for him keeps getting low everytime he acts like this. I love him, he's my baby's dad and a nice guy who loves me but my attraction is gone. What to do? more

Voting Question: I hate my mom and Idk what to do.?

I'm 16, I have begun to realize that I have this underlying hatred for my mother. I don't think she's that bad. She takes things away just like every mom. She doesnt let me go places just like everyone elses. I dont' understand why. I do smoke bud, and ciggerettes. She doesn't allow either and its not a slap on the wrist. If i were to fail a drug test right now i've already done so many out patient programs that i also hate the councelers even though there good people. She's a hypocrit i guess i mean she drinks a couple glasses of wine a night and i have to do rehab if i smoke pot? I know this is just difference of opinions, I don't abuse pot really I don't use it to medicate i don't use it because im missing something from life. It's just really part of me something i enjoy, just like some people enjoy skateboarding or sports. It helps me sleep, relax, chill with friends, it makes things more fun. So I suppose it's not bad that she does't let me. I've done alot of other drugs and honestly feel that she drove me to them. Hiding the smell the eyes and everything about bud was frustrating and other more concealable drugs were so much more PLEASUREABLE. I really see that being where addiction lies as i don't consider my self addicted to pot. But things like ecstacy and the feeling it brings could easily proove more psychologicly habitual. I hate talking with her, looking at her, everything about her. I just don't know why anymore. She makes me miserable when shes' home i usualy just sit around doing nothing trying my best to get out of the house, but i don't have my lisence yet not till august and i rely on my dad for rides, but she says wether or not i can. She makes me go to every family thing 3 hours away or 20 hours away I hate them all, i mean familys great but I feel like i probably have a few loose screws and may have some problems with anxiety and depression i really don't care because when im with friends everythings alright smoking or not. I just don't feel that with my family. I respect my older sister, and i guerss my father, my littel sisters just a brat and i guess i just don't really have any tolerance for her forward way of thinking like a little diva but what im trying to ask is why the fuck do i hate her so much, just because she doesn't let me smoke ? \ I currently live awaiting my 18th birthday, not knowing where the fuck i'll go but it wont be here, how ill get money or anything but it just feels like even though i have a decent house always have food and a complete family I for somereason feel trapped bored alone pissed off when im home. Home is supposed to be where you feel most comfortable. Is there anyway that i can at least just disagree with my mom and not hate her? It's not like i feel thoughts of UYOU WONT LET ME DO THINGS when im around her, i just cna't stand her. I don't feel connected shes some stranger woman in my house who tries to control me.I really don't have to go to rehab. If a doctor told me the next time i hit a joint rip a bong or even buy a bag id die, i'd respectfully give up pot. I just know that I have certain things ive fucked up that i need to work on but pot isn't a distraction and it isn't the problems that i need help with. I'm glad to see a therapist ive been asking for a while and she says she will but never does. I'm also working on the job, i had gotten hired and they 'changed their mind' seeing as the turn of the year didn't proove them to be doing very well./ Not the easiest thing finding a job i can get to right after school cuz i won't always have a ride. I'm hoping that as soon as i get a job, get a car and start actualy building a life that i will feel less of this more